Make something of yourself.

by thefoxdraws

I heard these words, and I decided not to capitalize them for the title of this post.

Recently I have struggled with finding my identity.  I’ve realized just how fabricated everything I say or write has been all my life.  When I was a kid, I’d write in my journal as if someone would read it in the future.  I’d write to impress…someone.  There is a very large portion of my writing starting around fifth grade where I stopped writing about boys, for instance.  I hated looking back at my own naive words and cringing at yesterday’s foolishness.  I hated realizing how immature I had been.

Yet, such fabrication has bled into today.  I’ve been seeking psychiatric help, with the nicest and most approachable lady on the planet.  Yet in the three sessions I have attended so far, I don’t think I’ve said a single genuine thing.  Not that I’ve been lying.  Just that I haven’t dug deep yet.  I haven’t faced who I really am inside.

So I am starting to make something of myself.  Who cares if I didn’t write this perfectly?  Who cares if I made a typo somewhere?

I didn’t capitalize the title.  Yesterday it would have irked me.  “Make Something of Yourself” is the proper way to write it.  But yesterday I was fool, wasn’t I?